My Third (Furry) Baby

I'm going to be honest -- before I brought Tigger home, I really did think he was going to behave less like a living being and more like a robot. Give command -- follow command. Perfect obedience, some affectionate behavior at designated intervals, but no real personality or independence to speak of. What can I say? I'm going to attribute my embarrassing ignorance to having little experience with dogs in general, and a complete lack of experience in training or working with a service dog. As stated in an earlier post -- I can be proven wrong (and it is usually a good thing that I am).

Tigger, as it turns out, has a lot of personality! He is extremely affectionate and friendly -- he loves people, other dogs, and even my two mean old cats (he looks so sad when they hiss at him!). Like a little kid, he loves attention and really can't stand to be alone for even a few moments. New friends to greet, belly rubs, easy cheese, and stuffed animals with squeakers, all make Tigger a very happy puppy. 

In many ways, all this personality is a pleasant surprise. We've really fallen in love with him and his sweet nature. And I think he truly loves everybody back. Not to mention that, for a 7 month old puppy, he is REMARKABLY well-behaved: you only need to tell him once to "leave it," he never begs, is generally quite calm, and he is usually very willing to follow many commands -- all the result of the last 5 months of intensive puppy and obedience training which I am VERY grateful to our trainers for!

Simon also continues to react to Tigger in a truly remarkable way -- he treats him like a little brother. He bosses him around (Tigger! You go that way! You sleep on your bed! Time to eat!), gives him advice (Tigger! You need to be patient! You need to be a small dog, you're too big!), and he likes to help take care of him as much as he is able. Simon likes to hold his leash, get his food, and give him his toys to play with.

Simon really enjoyed showing Tigger all the new toys we had gotten him (so he has something to do OTHER than chew the cords of medical equipment!)

 However, just like the baby he is, Tigger fusses when he can't go where he wants when he wants to, and he hates being sent to bed. He gets into things because he is curious, or bored (like chewing up the cord of Simon's pulse oximeter after bedtime a couple nights ago! ack!). He gets excited and tests his boundaries in new situations. He also has opinions about who he wants to listen to and be with -- he LOVES Brian and if Brian is home he follows him constantly (despite our ongoing efforts to get him to attach to Simon).

For my part, I've come to realize that, while Tigger is here to serve our family, he is also a member of it. He's another kid to add to our clan, albeit a very furry one. Though he learns fast and is well behaved he still needs some of the things that any kid needs, especially in a new environment.

So -- I've re-arranged Simon's room to give them both their own space. Siblings need that, I think. Simon now has a bigger bunk bed (playtime on top, sleep on the bottom) to accommodate sleepovers with Tigger, but Tigger also has his very own corner of Simon's room with a full toy box of options for him to entertain himself with something other than the cords of medical equipment in the wee hours of the night.

Simon on Simon's bed.

Simon on Tigger's bed.

I'm also providing Tigger with some clearer boundaries. While he behaves like a dream for Brian, he tends to ignore my commands half the time, and he pulls at his leash a lot when I walk him. Apparently, Tigger does not see this momma as an alpha (ha! If only he knew who really made the decisions around here!). I consulted with our trainer, Kim, about this and on her suggestion I got him a "gentle leader" harness that goes on his face for walking and I have acquired a rather loud clicker to get his attention. I also got some good advice from the trainer at Petsmart -- he told me to give a command once, wait for Tigger to follow it and then help him follow through if he doesn't listen to me (rather then "beg" him to do it repeatedly which is what I had been doing). So far, all of this seems to be helping Tigger pay better attention to me. We'll get there.

Tigger with me wearing his new "gentle leader" harness at the grocery store. He did great!

Our other big challenge is getting Tigger to "attach" to Simon as his boy. He likes Simon, but doesn't follow him or pay him any more attention than he does anyone else. Of course, it doesn't help that the one thing Simon does not like (which we are working on) is being very physically affectionate with Tigger. He will pet him when asked to, but only briefly. If we ask him to hug Tigger, he says "no thanks." I think Simon might not yet be that comfortable with Tigger -- especially his size. However, the fact that he is as relaxed with him as he has been thus far is a really good sign. I imagine that, given a few more weeks and a lot more encouragement, Simon will come to love on Tigger like the big teddy bear that he is. I also think that this evolving bond of affection will be the thing that finally gets Tigger to see Simon as "his boy" and help him divert his focus from Brian to Simon.

Overall -- the past few days have been very exciting, and a little overwhelming. I'm simultaneously falling in love with our new addition, and tentatively feeling out this new ground as a pet-parent and service dog trainer trainee. I have so much to learn, but there is one thing I can say for certain -- the more I learn, and the more I see Simon interact with Tigger, the more confident I am that we have made the best choice for Simon and our entire family.  We will get there!

Secrets of a Super Mom

Today I felt invincible. I had a ton to do, and accomplished it all -- with style, finesse, and that certain "I don't know how she does it," possessed by super women everywhere.

It started in yoga this morning. I nailed a headstand (been working on it for months), and some tricky twists. I even got kudos on my flying crow arm balance from the instructor.

http://blogs.yogajournal.com/blognew/mt-tb.cgi/1221

Following yoga, I got myself and the kids ready for the day in record time, with minimal fuss. At the bus stop, my fellow super-mom even complemented my put-together appearance.

When the babysitter showed up sick, I made her tea and sent her home. Undaunted, I called in the reinforcements (To the iPhone -- "Hi Mom!"), so I could go out as my alter-ego to save the world, one well designed project for non-profit services at a time.

I came home, did laundry, answered some emails, and then headed out again to take Simon to therapy at KKI. I was able to give a glowing report to the therapist about Simon's "homework" progress, and watched as she used a robotic virtual-reality simulation machine type thingy (yes, I believe that is it's technical term) to get Simon to practice weight bearing exercises on his left arm. Total super hero stuff, and he was awesome.

We came home, helped Olivia study vocabulary, played outside on the swings, and made a fantastic Chicken Parmesan for dinner. After dinner, kids bathed and put to bed, work finished, and blog post written!

However, like any good super hero, I have my dark secrets. I'll share them with you here (and hope you will share yours with me).

Om Secret: Yoga. It is the one thing I do only for myself, and it makes me look and feel better. The endorphin rush lasts all day, and pushing myself physically with tangible results is satisfying in the midst of uncertainty and stress. The fact that the studio I go to has early morning classes with good instructors is a bonus, too. ('cause if I don't go in the morning, something will ALWAYS get in the way later in the day)

Morning secret: I get Olivia's clothes out the night before, and Brian gets Simon dressed most mornings. The kids pretty much eat the same thing for breakfast every day, so there is no need to think about it, and the coffee pot is programmable.

Looking put-together secret: My closet is essentially filled with the adult version of Garanimals (you remember, the coordinating sets of clothes for kids? Hippo tops go with hippo bottoms.. giraffe skirt with giraffe blouse?) Anyway, I have a wardrobe of neutral colors (a lot of black -- well, I am a designer), and some "pops" of color. When I need to get dressed, pull out a neutral outfit and choose pop of color depending on mood (today was magenta). My make-up is also totally neutral in tones (no need to match lipstick and eyeshadow!), and I grew my hair long specifically so I can pull it into a ponytail in case of emergencies. Add funky but also mostly neutral colored accessories. Complete with groovy colorful handbag. Done.

Childcare secret: It takes a village. I have a part-time nanny (carefully selected through sittercity.com -- another secret!), but I'm also fortunate enough to live close to family who actually like to watch the kids (yes, I know how lucky I am here)! My mom is especially helpful (as she was this morning), and always has the important things on hand (like juice boxes and Teletubbies) in case of emergencies.

Work secret: I love my work (both teaching and design), and I generally work with people that love what they do, too. Mutual appreciation makes inspiration easier and late nights more bearable.

My other work secret is my iPhone. Before it, I had never been a big cell phone user. Too much of a pain. However, now, being able to easily answer emails, take calls and check up on things while I'm out (like at a therapy appointment), keeps me in the loop all day and helps me address any issues immediately. Another super gadget for navigating to client meetings is my Garmin. I'd be lost without it.

Laundry/chores secret: Just do it in between everything else. Save sorting and folding laundry for when your favorite TV show is on. Make your daughter help put the laundry away (to earn marbles, of course). Listen to audiobooks when you clean -- you can catch up on book club and eradicate dust bunnies at the same time! Totally super.

Dinner secret: two words -- Trader Joes. That and/or cooking "big" on the weekend and saving dinners for throughout the week ahead.

So... maybe I'm not exactly super. Like all the smart women (and men) I know, I've developed tactics and built support systems that work for me; gradually refining how I navigate through the day, the week, the month. Maybe that is the not-so-secret secret: you figure out what works for you, and then you keep at it.

But, I do know one more pretty-super secret. It is as sure an antidote for cryptonite as can be found on this planet. An ancient bit of wisdom passed down through generations of super women....