Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Post Preschool

I suddenly understand why little old ladies are compelled to own tiny little dogs, and to dote over them into their own dotage. A fluffy little dog will not grow up, will not cavalierly slide past the point at which you would like to freeze their "littleness" in time. No, instead, they will stay forever fluffy, soft and tiny. Just the right size to sit in your lap and cuddle.

I can see myself becoming one of these little old ladies one day.

Fortunately, for now, Simon is still small and sweet enough to cuddle in my lap quite frequently, but his "graduation" from preschool today highlights the fact that he is growing up. Although Simon seems like a three year old, he is not. Though I want to hold him back indefinitely, in the hopes that he will "catch up," I can't. This chapter of his childhood, and in my life as his mother, is closing, and in so many ways I don't feel that we are ready. Not ready to leave the safe harbor of pre-k-ness. Not ready to leave the teachers that have been so wonderful, and that I know love my child. Not ready to accept that, though we have made advances and done well within this special needs setting, we need to continue on within it and move forward into kindergarten.

Tonight I am both sad and grateful. Okay, mostly sad, but trying to remind myself that I should be grateful for the good experiences we had. A little (lot) tearfully I raise a glass to the teachers that have taught so well, and loved with warm and open hearts so many challenging children with challenges -- and their kind of needy parents.

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